People say - and do - the craziest things in job interviews

HR professionals and hiring managers know that interviews can be stressful for even the most competent and composed applicants. After all, they’ve been on the other side of the desk before. Yet, there are certain scenarios that defy reasonable explanation and leave them scratching their heads in disbelief.

To prove our point, we’ve compiled a “Top 10” list of job interviews that went sour … and why:

1) “I had a candidate open his briefcase, pull out a package of cheese crackers and a juice box, and munch away on his midday snack while I was asking him questions. He said he’d had no time to eat because he was interviewing all day!”

2) “How about the guy who forgot dark socks to wear with his suit so he colored in his ankles with a black, felt-tip marker?”

3) “I’ve had numerous interviews where the person’s cell phone goes off and rather than apologize and quickly turn off the phone, the person checks the number. So rude.”

4) “When I asked this particular candidate (a 20-something with about five years of work experience) why she was looking to change jobs, she answered, ‘Well, I’ve been sitting around twiddling my thumbs for the last few months.’”

5) “My most unique experience was the candidate who told me he was abducted by an alien who told him to apply for the job – and to report what he learned back to his alien leaders.”

6) “I wished I had never offered this particular woman a cup of coffee because when she set the cup down on my desk, she immediately knocked it over and spilled the piping hot liquid all over my papers and files.”

7) “I’ve seen some interesting clothing choices through the years, but the best ever was the man who showed up in a powder-blue leisure suit, straw hat and flip-flops. And no, he wasn’t applying for a creative position or auditioning for a part in a play!”

8) “Granted, this particular candidate told me he wasn’t feeling well before the interview, but, about 15 minutes into it, he got this strange look on his face, jumped up out of his chair, and promptly threw up all over my office floor.”

9) “After the initial interview with an applicant, I explained the final step in the hiring process would be drug testing. She then responded, ‘Oh, what type of drugs do you want me to test?’”

10) “Before the interview even started, I had a candidate ask me to see where he’d be seated when he got the job. He said he needed to check out the space to make sure he’d have enough privacy!”

Uphold your role in the interview process

On the flip side, you don’t want to be the reason the job interview was a flop. When you’re responsible for interviewing applicants, take the time to define the job and its requirements, schedule interviews only after you’ve reviewed the resume and/or application (and can give the candidate your full attention), and steer clear of illegal interview questions concerning an applicant’s age, race, sex, disability, religion, national origin, pregnancy and any other protected classification.

And if a candidate tells you he’s fighting a bad case of the stomach flu, you may want to reschedule the interview!

People say - and do - the craziest things in job interviews

Are your job descriptions doing their job?

Job descriptions. You might not think they’re worth spending much time on, but that’s simply not true. Job descriptions are an important starting point when hiring and later, serve as your “road map” when managing the employee.

You don’t hire an employee based on generalities, so why should the description for a particular position be broad or vague? You’re looking for more than just a warm-blooded human who can read, write and sit through long-winded meetings, right? You have specific needs to be filled with each new position … and goals to be met by bringing that person on board … right?

An in-depth, carefully constructed job description lets you hone in on the skills, experience and education the job requires. With these details, your job postings will be more targeted, your interviews will be more targeted, and your selection process will be more targeted.

And down the road, you’ll save time and money letting a ho-hum employee go and replacing that person with someone more qualified – or investing in training to fill in the gaps and bring a ho-hum hire up to speed. Your appraisal process will be easier, too. When that first performance review rolls around, you can compare an employee’s contributions against the goals and objectives stated in the job description. There’s even the added benefit of legal protection, especially in cases where an employee may cry “that isn’t my job” when asked to do something.

Bottom line: An in-depth job description can help you make a better hire, while supporting the management and ongoing review of that hire.

So what does a well-written job description look like? Here are some guidelines:

Title. Give the job a title that fits the desired experience level and that indicates the rank within the company hierarchy (such as managerial, supervisory, clerical, etc.). Don’t use a title that is gender-specific. (For example, say “salesperson,” not “salesman.”)

Individual skills needed. Does the job require the use of certain equipment or computer programs — or some other specialized knowledge? List specific workplace qualifications, as well as broader qualities, such as “willingness to learn,” “customer service skills” and “team-playing skills.”

Responsibilities/duties. Describe the tasks the person will do routinely on the job, as well as the expected outcome. (For example, “Schedules building maintenance and repairs to ensure uninterrupted business operations.”)

Education or training requirements. Are specific degrees or certifications required for the job?

Minimum experience. What types of jobs will the ideal candidate have held previously? How many years of experience? Remember that more years of experience generally demand higher pay. Never refer to experience in terms of age. (For example, say “entry-level,” instead of “recent college graduate.”)

Work schedule. Will there be set hours? How many days a week? What type of flexibility is needed? Specify any environmental factors that may affect the position, too. (For example, excessive noise, high temperatures or outdoor work.)

Are your job descriptions doing their job?

8 most stressful jobs on the planet

"What, me - stressed? Nah, I'm just a little amped up about the brain surgery I have to perform in an hour."

If you have a pulse and a job, chances are you feel some amount of tension in the average workday. But does it compare to the stress of being a surgeon or commercial airline pilot?

A recent msnbc article shares the most stressful jobs, as compiled by CareerCast.com, a job search website. More than 20 stress factors were considered, the biggest being deadlines, life or death situations and physical demands.

Here are the top 8 high-pressure positions:

1) Surgeon - Sure, the average salary is high ($309,118) but with the hefty paycheck comes extreme physical demands, critical deadlines and almost daily life or death situations. Plus, surgeons work on their feet for long hours and have a wide circle of people depending upon them.

2) Commercial airline pilot - Think back to Chesley Burnett "Sully" Sullenberger safely landing a 162,000-pound plane loaded with passengers into the Hudson River and you get a pretty good idea of why this position comes in second. Pilots have only one chance to properly take off and land each flight, and the lives of often more than 100 passengers hang in the balance.

3) Photojournalist - Whether they're covering wars, riots, four-alarm fires or soccer matches, photojournalists must get to the scene of an event quickly and make the perfect shot - often times risking their lives to do so.

4) Advertising account executive - Ad execs made the list largely due to the tough economy right now. With the media industry going through such upheaval - and execs depending on selling ad space to make sales commissions - you have a situation fraught with anxiety.

5) Real estate agent - The housing boom has gone bust, leaving agents scrambling for business. If they haven't joined the record number of agents abandoning the profession, many agents are feeling the crunch of the housing crisis.

6) General practice physician - Like their peers that topped the list, these medical practitioners face life or death decisions on a regular basis and put in long, demanding hours. And declining insurance reimbursements have left many physicians financially broken, even bankrupt.

7) Newspaper reporter - First, there's the massive layoffs in the newspaper industry. Then, there are the constant pressures of working under deadline and competing for stories. Put it all together and you have a work setting that would rattle even the most seasoned professional.

8) Physician's assistant - As general practice physicians sign up more patients, physician assistants are seeing their workload (and stress levels) mount. And without the higher salary that physicians command.

So if your profession made the list, you haven't learned anything new here. Hopefully, the job's perks outweigh the sweaty palms, racing heart and pit in your stomach you endure on a daily basis. After all, when it comes to stress in the workplace, one person's anxiety is another person's adrenaline rush.

And if your job didn't make the cut, aren't you thankful you've chosen such a serene, satisfying, stress-free livelihood?

8 most stressful jobs on the planet

Needed: Marketing manager who does computer programming, outbound sales and the tango

I’m used to seeing all the sobering statistics concerning our country’s dismal unemployment rate (just over 10 percent now!), but this headline caught my eye, “State’s jobless rate lets employers ask more from potential hires”.

While the article pertained to Washington, I’m sure the situation applies everywhere. It seems that the lingering recession and extreme competition for jobs have created a whole host of picky employers. The days of simple, streamlined job listings are over, as employers demand more and more from potential hires.

The Seattle Times article shares these examples:

=> Health-care clinic seeks someone who has both marketing experience and knowledge of computer-networking software

=> Environment nonprofit looking for someone to troubleshoot Apple computers, lift up to 50 pounds, work long hours and travel up to seven days at a stretch

=> Catering company needs an event planner who knows basic HTML and is willing to do “personal assistant tasks” for the owner

With companies having to stretch their resources thinner than ever and only cautiously bringing in new hires, this may be the new “normal.”

“Companies of all sizes are advertising such ‘hybrid jobs’ in an effort to save
money,” said Lanell Flint, Northwest vice president for Ajilon Professional
Staffing. "Everyone is trying to do more with less.”

The article states another possible reason for job listings demanding extensive (and sometimes random) job requirements and work experience: less time or money for on-the-job training. In lieu of training to fill in gaps or weaknesses for an otherwise qualified individual, employers want candidates who can “hit the ground running” on all counts.

This employment pickiness often makes for a longer, more drawn-out hiring process, too. It’s not unusual for employers to leave positions open for longer or bring people in for multiple interviews.

What about your company? How has your hiring process changed during the continuing recession? Have you revisited your job descriptions and what you need from new hires? And with more candidates to choose from, are you getting pickier with your selections?

Needed: Marketing manager who does computer programming, outbound sales and the tango

Tricked-out job titles: Creative morale booster or unprofessional fluff?

What if we gave all those stuffy, vague job titles the boot and let people craft new titles that capture what they’re really about?

That’s what many businesses are doing these days – and their employees couldn’t be happier about it. In his blog post, More death to job titles, Alexander Kjerulf (Chief Happiness Officer, incidentally), argues that job titles are “a waste of time and contribute nothing to our productivity, creativity or happiness at work. In fact, job titles can be the source of a lot of disputes and bickering in the workplace.”

Alexander’s post inspired the Web Marketing Director at Quicken Loans so much that he challenged his Web Marketing Team to come up with new job titles that express who they are and their impact on the business and their teammates. The results? Whimsical titles like:

• Royal Storyteller & Propaganda Minister
• Supreme Challenger of the Status Quo & Wicked Web Site Innovator
• Innovation Maven and Revenue Raiser
• Mastermind of Possibilities, Visual Linguist, and Czar of the High Fiber Revolution
• Art Juggler
• Flasher
• Idea Launcher
• Conceptologist
• Head Brother In Charge of Chat
• Reality Check Provider

What do you think? Is this something that can work in the right environment, allowing for greater self-expression in the workplace? Or could titles like these backfire, leading to more confusion than clarity? According to one person’s comments to Alexander’s blog post, “Job titles are important in my opinion. They should be concise, professional and define what the person does. If I got an email from someone and in the signature it said they were a Conceptologist or a Wicked Website Innovator, I would not take them or their company seriously …”

Perhaps a compromise is in order. In What’s In A Job Title? More Than You’d Think!, a recent survey by Pearl Meyer & Partners is cited, where 95% of respondents said that job titles were important, whether for conveying corporate hierarchy or for recognizing valued employees when funds are limited.

But there’s a twist. According to the survey, many companies assign formal, “official” job titles, while also allowing the use of alternative, “working” titles. Managers and their employees can customize these less-traditional job titles to reflect an individual’s responsibilities, preferences and just as important, personality. Many employees will then take it upon themselves to create business cards with these alternative job titles or use the tweaked job titles on social networking pages such as LinkedIn.

So maybe your company isn’t quite ready for titles like “Propaganda Minister” or “Innovative Maven”, but how about something a little more descriptive than “Creative Director” or “Communications Coordinator”? Your employees are unique and multi-dimensional - why shouldn’t their job titles be, too?

Tricked-out job titles: Creative morale booster or unprofessional fluff?